The Insidious Interplay of Loss and Depression
In his seminal work “Mourning and Melancholia” Sigmund Freud proposed that depression (then referred to as melancholia) is caused by an unconscious loss. While a loss that causes depression may be more overt such as the loss of a person or a relationship, it can also be more subtle such as the loss of an ideal or hope for the future.
Perhaps you’ve suffered extreme losses and absences in your past that have made the process of meaning-making and the recovery from disappointment more difficult. This means that when you experience a loss in the present, you struggle to believe that you will ever be able to bring anything good into your life again.
In the absence of larger catastrophic losses, you may wonder why you’re depressed or feel like you have no legitimate reason to be depressed. Just remember that the psychological concept of a loss has many guises and all of them are legitimate. Below we discuss some more subtle kinds of loss that may underlie symptoms of depression.
Loss of a previous identity
People may experience depression during times of transition when they are letting go of who they used to be to make room for a new idea of self. Major life transitions such as graduation from college, moving to a new city or country, marriage, and parenthood may elicit feelings of loss instead of joy. If you’ve recently experienced a life transition, you may find yourself mourning your previous life and experiencing anxiety about what the future holds.
Loss of an ideal
If your current life looks different from the life you envisioned you would lead, you may also experience depression.
Perhaps you believed you would be further along in your career at this point or perhaps you believed you would be married with two children by now. Perhaps when you look in the mirror you’re not happy with what you see. When our life diverges from our ideals and expectations we can also experience a sense of depressive loss.
Loss of creativity and passion
Another more subtle sort of loss is the loss of passion or creativity. If you have a demanding job, perhaps you haven’t had the time to pursue your creative passions. You may find yourself feeling uninspired or empty, like the sweetness has been drained from the world. The loss of connection to one’s creative source is an often overlooked but important form of loss.
Loss, both big and small, is an inevitable part of life. Therapy can help you repair your relationship to loss. It can also help you to to uncover and mourn the more subtle losses that may be fueling your symptoms of depression.
Therapy will help you to enhance your natural capacity to find worthy substitutes
for the losses that are a natural part of life.
If you are interested in a 15 minute free phone consultation to see if a psychologist at Vienna Praxis would be a good match for you, please contact us.