Passion gives me moments of wholeness.
- Anaïs Nin
Relationships are fundamentally important to us. They can also be fundamentally confusing and unsettling.
At times, closeness to another person gets expressed as a need for comfort and safety and at other times we long for excitement and novelty. Ultimately, we want both. And we need both.
Our awareness of these needs expresses itself differently at different stages of our lives. There can be times of intense excitement coupled with a pervasive sense of loneliness. Or on the other extreme, a long marriage that offers lots of security but feels emotionally stale.
People who find themselves stuck on only one end of this dimension often question their ability to be in a satisfying long-term relationship. They become impatient with others, feel flat and jaded, sometimes even clinically depressed. They remain distant, contemplate a separation or divorce, and seek diversion through work or entertainment.
My expertise is in helping couples create a balance between feeling comfortable with each other without giving up on adventure, surprise and desire. Too often partners unknowingly treat these domains as mutually exclusive and feel they have to sacrifice one for the other. With expert guidance, couples can re-learn how a long-lasting relationship can offer comfort and still bristle with novelty and passion.